Hotness Incarnate
There are these girls that I see from time to time, I don’t know their names or anything about them, but I’m pretty sure they are the reason that men and women exist. My roommate and I have a saying for a certain group of girls, they are not always that good looking per say, none of the girl’s features ever stand out to be that extraordinary, but everything goes so well together that you cant take your eyes off of them. Maybe it’s the way they carry themselves, or the way they dress, I don’t know, but whatever the reason they have this aura of cuteness that you just can’t put your finger on. Well, these girls are in a group of their own, though these girls have that too, but the ones I’m talking about are at a whole other level. I remember reading somewhere ( I think it was Ian Flemming) that a very beautiful woman is beautiful by way of millimeters, her nose, her eyes, her hair, it all comes down to these few millimeters. For example a girl can be very good looking but her eyebrows are just a few millimeters off, thus ruining the illusion. Let me see, what im trying to get at...
Ill paint you a picture. Im walking out of the ILC thinking about whatever-the-fuck-ever. For you Non-Wildcats reading this the ILC is a rectangular underground area with its ceiling at ground level but it is open to the sky. In the large open space that is the middle there are trees and benches, and along the sides there are doors to classrooms and lecture halls. There are large stairs at each end that allow a nice breeze to flow though the ILC from time to time. But I digress, so there I was making my way up a flight of stairs on my way to my next class and this girl comes out of nowhere and starts down the stairs I am going up. I saw her right away. As I said before a beautiful girl is made of millimeters, well let me tell you this girl had all of the right millimeters in all the right places. She was easily the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in the flesh. Now if my life were a movie, this scene would have been shot in slow motion and would be set to Jimi Hendrix’s Dolly Dagger. I think I even saw the whole thing in Slow-Mo. She was blonde, with some of the brightest green eyes I have ever seen. She was wearing some sort of tank top, and one of those really short skirts, you know, one of those tennis like numbers that seem to be the standard issue uniform to the U of A sorority girls. The funny thing was that this girl gave off a strong presence of being naked. Now I’m not saying the bitch was streaking down the campus, but when you look at her you get a strong presence of a naked body being underneath her straps of clothes. This is not to say I was undressing her with my eyes, but this girl just had that je ne sais quois* ** about her that seemed to say that her clothes were just a charade. Just then a breeze picked up near the library and sent a gush of wind down those stairs into the commons area and up our stairs. It like was a gift from God, or maybe it was The Devil. Well whatever the reason the skirt she was wearing shot straight upwards. She reflexively pushed her skirt back downwards with her hands. I couldn’t believe it. She looked like a modern version of Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch. I just stood there and frozen, I couldn’t believe it . I knew just blankly staring in her direction would only embarrass her further but I couldn’t bring myself to look away. The gust died down and she just kept on walking, probably blushing the whole way to her class. The whole thing probably only lasted a split second. Now I have seen my share of movies, magazines, books, Etc. featuring some pretty sexy stuff, but I doubt that I have ever seen anything like passing hotness incarnate on my way to Spanish 201.
Has anyone noticed similar things or am I just going on a crazy rant because I cant get back to sleep... Woah that was a long one! About a page to describe an experience that lasted ten minutes max. Maybe I do tend to drag stories out a bit... OK, Cliff’s Notes: I saw a really hot girl at the ILC the other day.
* Its french for get me some fuckin' cola before I break vous fucking lips!
** If you don’t know it, look it up... http://world.altavista.com/tr
Ill paint you a picture. Im walking out of the ILC thinking about whatever-the-fuck-ever. For you Non-Wildcats reading this the ILC is a rectangular underground area with its ceiling at ground level but it is open to the sky. In the large open space that is the middle there are trees and benches, and along the sides there are doors to classrooms and lecture halls. There are large stairs at each end that allow a nice breeze to flow though the ILC from time to time. But I digress, so there I was making my way up a flight of stairs on my way to my next class and this girl comes out of nowhere and starts down the stairs I am going up. I saw her right away. As I said before a beautiful girl is made of millimeters, well let me tell you this girl had all of the right millimeters in all the right places. She was easily the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in the flesh. Now if my life were a movie, this scene would have been shot in slow motion and would be set to Jimi Hendrix’s Dolly Dagger. I think I even saw the whole thing in Slow-Mo. She was blonde, with some of the brightest green eyes I have ever seen. She was wearing some sort of tank top, and one of those really short skirts, you know, one of those tennis like numbers that seem to be the standard issue uniform to the U of A sorority girls. The funny thing was that this girl gave off a strong presence of being naked. Now I’m not saying the bitch was streaking down the campus, but when you look at her you get a strong presence of a naked body being underneath her straps of clothes. This is not to say I was undressing her with my eyes, but this girl just had that je ne sais quois* ** about her that seemed to say that her clothes were just a charade. Just then a breeze picked up near the library and sent a gush of wind down those stairs into the commons area and up our stairs. It like was a gift from God, or maybe it was The Devil. Well whatever the reason the skirt she was wearing shot straight upwards. She reflexively pushed her skirt back downwards with her hands. I couldn’t believe it. She looked like a modern version of Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch. I just stood there and frozen, I couldn’t believe it . I knew just blankly staring in her direction would only embarrass her further but I couldn’t bring myself to look away. The gust died down and she just kept on walking, probably blushing the whole way to her class. The whole thing probably only lasted a split second. Now I have seen my share of movies, magazines, books, Etc. featuring some pretty sexy stuff, but I doubt that I have ever seen anything like passing hotness incarnate on my way to Spanish 201.
Has anyone noticed similar things or am I just going on a crazy rant because I cant get back to sleep... Woah that was a long one! About a page to describe an experience that lasted ten minutes max. Maybe I do tend to drag stories out a bit... OK, Cliff’s Notes: I saw a really hot girl at the ILC the other day.
* Its french for get me some fuckin' cola before I break vous fucking lips!
** If you don’t know it, look it up... http://world.altavista.com/tr
5 Comments:
Okay, this definitely deserves a comment, as your triumphant return to blogging yielded all of, what, two entries so far?*
After reading your manifestos on Texas and your masturbatory fantasies, I have only one thing to say, College Boy: you must have learned something somewhere sometime. Give my congratulations to your college English professors. I hope the topic of you next assignment is a persuasive essay on the merits of film noir, and whether the addition of Technicolor would have made the genre better or worse.
To further illustrate my point, here's a list:
Things I knew about Mark before:
1. He can tell stories.
2. His stories sometimes have no point, or end for that matter.
3. Mark knows movies. I don't think anyone will argue with this point.
4. His stories go will with a cigar, because he often needs 45 minutes to finish (a side note: Mark could do for the cigar-story telling genre what Andrew Dice Clay did for the cigarette).
Things I know about Mark after:
1. He can correctly use French phrases in his writing (witness the "je ne sais quois" reference).
2. He can correctly turn French phrases into clever puns (witness the "joie de me" comment a while back).
3. Mark has learned that the traditional 5-paragraph essay also translates to story-telling. Intro, background, argument, argument, conclusion.
4. Adjectives and adverbs take stories to a higher level. Here are a few of my favorites (for fun, find them on your own!**): reflexively, brightest, really short, fucking.
5. Incarnate. Charade. These are words that I didn't think Mark knew. He proved me wrong.
6. Now, Mark appears to have learned something about music as well. Dolly Dagger - well played, my man.
And finally, the real way to tell that Mark has learned something:
7. Pizza and salsa with corn suck. So does Texas. Boo-ya-kasha.
*Not that I can argue, but I still am.
**For even more fun, identify whether the words are adjectives or adverbs. Christy, no cheating!
Also, Vote Birthday Party in 2004!
My dear brother, I have to say, I am proud. I am happy to know that you posess the ability to wax on (very eloquently) about really nothing at all. Your story-telling that turned into talking about nothing at all was natural--you were born with it--but writing about nothing? Now that is talent. See? I just did it (and you will also see below that I continue to do it for what seems like eternity).
I am also happy that you have taken the opportunity to publish such prose. Whether it is your hatred of reality TV, Texas or Bush, or your love for hotness incarnate, you have not held back. Congrats.
So I am going to take advantage of your increasingly prolific blog to publish a thought of my own. (You could also say that I am too lazy to work on my own lame blog so I just write on yours.)
OK, I tried to think of something really fantastic to talk about here, but I just kept on coming up with small things that I didn't really want to write about. (Again, Mark, this makes you and Carissa even better.) And note to Carissa: Seriously, just consider your personal statement a blog entry. Or better yet, submit a blog entry as your personal statement. It's creative, it's witty, it's fun.
Back to my things to talk about, I just have minor, insignificant thoughts like these: i don't really like cats, i love the rain, dead people should be buried or creamated not preserved (ref: creepy New Times article, http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/issues/2004-10-28/news/feature.html) and I don't know how to do those fancy, schmancy links on the posts like you do (even though a Web site I helped created won an award).
So that's all I have to say. Mark, I miss you. I hope you're coming home this weekend.
holy crap - mark, can you please get laid some time in the near future? i would insert some kind of "just kidding" comment here, but when i think about it, i'm not kidding. seriously have some sex. soon.
side note - i appreciate the story telling, as if zach & christy haven't blow enough hot air up your hiney, so keep it coming!
also, as i attended the fabulous university of arizona, i can say from experience that the sorority hottie you described here is probably much like your now defunct beamer. i could explain this simile further... but you are all smart people, so i'm sure you'll figure it out.
^^^^^^^^
Is that an invitation Carissa? I would normally throw in just kidding right here... So I will... Just kidding.
What has this comment accomplished you ask? Nothing... Such is my blog.
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