Texas: The reason people hate America.
In honor of my own return to blogging I am going to stand up and let my voice be heard. I am going to say what needs to be said completely disregarding my own mental and physical safety. I J. Mark Sternberg, am messing with Texas.
Honestly its the worst state in the country. You know how I mentioned earlier that all states have a predetermined amount of cool points? Texas had very few in the first place and the state spread them around so much that you cant possibly cover the whole thing. As a matter of fact the only thing that is cool about the state is that it is so big. Because of their horrible wasteland of a state the only things you can conceivably do in that state are shoot, spit, and and eat, and that reminds me...
Food: Lets not forget the fact that Tex-Mex is the worst food on the planet. Tex-Mex is a little bastard child of Mexicans and Texans cooking together. Lets grab a taco and throw some BBQ sauce on it and call it something other than what it is... crap. Honestly, if I get one more pizza with corn in it im going to fucking flip. As far as I am concerned Tex Mex is reason enough to round up everyone in the state and have tortured then shot. We can make a reality tv show about it. The only two things that are actually bigger in Texas are stomachs and egos, which brings me to my next point...
The ‘tude: Oh man have you ever met anyone from Texas? Its terrible, they are almost always armed with some sort of weapon, as if Mexico is going to siege the Alamo again. Everyone thinks that their states size instantly makes them better. (See also: Carissa’s "Me have bigger____, me better man" theory)
Im going to leave the political stuff alone because the idea of going to that level bores me. I might talk about that in a later post.
Honestly its the worst state in the country. You know how I mentioned earlier that all states have a predetermined amount of cool points? Texas had very few in the first place and the state spread them around so much that you cant possibly cover the whole thing. As a matter of fact the only thing that is cool about the state is that it is so big. Because of their horrible wasteland of a state the only things you can conceivably do in that state are shoot, spit, and and eat, and that reminds me...
Food: Lets not forget the fact that Tex-Mex is the worst food on the planet. Tex-Mex is a little bastard child of Mexicans and Texans cooking together. Lets grab a taco and throw some BBQ sauce on it and call it something other than what it is... crap. Honestly, if I get one more pizza with corn in it im going to fucking flip. As far as I am concerned Tex Mex is reason enough to round up everyone in the state and have tortured then shot. We can make a reality tv show about it. The only two things that are actually bigger in Texas are stomachs and egos, which brings me to my next point...
The ‘tude: Oh man have you ever met anyone from Texas? Its terrible, they are almost always armed with some sort of weapon, as if Mexico is going to siege the Alamo again. Everyone thinks that their states size instantly makes them better. (See also: Carissa’s "Me have bigger____, me better man" theory)
Im going to leave the political stuff alone because the idea of going to that level bores me. I might talk about that in a later post.
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